Gnomes cause health and safety row

Sandwell Metropolitan Borough Council (picture depicts primitive mentality and superstitious belief systems, not attributed to the council, of course), a UK West Midlands local authority, has apologised to a woman who was wrongly told to remove two ornamental gnomes from outside her home on health and safety grounds.

They said that a letter sent to Linda Langford, which also instructed her to withdraw a pottery ninja tortoise from a communal area outside her flat in Tipton, had been based on a misunderstanding of its fire safety rules.

The note from Sandwell Homes to Mrs Langford, 57, ordered her to take down a 'Welcome' plaque, as well as the gnomes - one of which is industriously hitting an anvil, and the other is studiously reading a book.

Clearly, this is offensive and an afront to the non-reading, unemployed people of Sandwell who's expectations will be altered and distorted on seeing these statuettes depicting unrealistic and unattainable pursuits of the middle and moneyed classes, allegedly.