Winter Weather and a musical interlude

Its been really cold here and yesterday evening it was -10C when we were walking home from the Club. (Someone had an iPhone app for it!) What with the cold and the gin & tonic, we all agreed that we needed a short comfort stop.

Somebody decided it would be fun to write our names in the snow. So we tried that but at -10C I had a couple of problems a) the normal shrivelling effect of the cold on men's bits and b) a long term issue that I have with a tight foreskin. (Not being religious I have never taken any measures to have this fixed) I mention these only by way of explanation as to what happened next.

Without being too graphic or drifting into the realms of medical science, the build up of fluid trying to escape was having difficulty in doing so because the said apeture was almost closed off.

Apart from the disturbing build up of pressure in the foreskin, whereby it acted as a small pressurised vessel or intermediary reservoir, giving the appendage the overall appearance of a small snake charmers flute.

Fortunately, with due bladder and flow control, there was sufficient leakage to allow a level of comfortable relief. Unfortunately, the said build up of pressure and the subsequent high pressure escape resulted in the production of a high pitched whistling noise that could only be described as that of a small bagpipe in distress or a theramin warming up.

My companions were becoming alarmed at the noise coming from my post, and I felt that I needed to somehow aleviate their fears, as I was relieving myself in this bizarre manner. So I tried to dampen the sound and succeeded in only dampening myself. But it was during this move that I discovered I could vary the pitch of the noise by some gentle squeezing.

So, I completed the task in hand, rather slower than expected but managed to write my name in the snow to the theme tune of Dr Who. Dum-de-dum dum-de-dum dum-de-dum daa.... All things must pass!

I did consider entering the X-Factor show with this performance but don't think they would have let me through!