1. Hearing Aid
Two elderly neighbours were talking the other day and one said to the other. "Hey I just bought a new hearing aid the other day, best hearing aid I've ever had, thing cost over 4,000 dollars."
"Great! What kind is it?"
"About 12:30."
2. Aussie Etiquette
(NB: A word about Aussie terms you'll find below. A "ute" is a utility vehicle, same as SUV in the U.S.; a "dunny" is a portable toilet;
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewelery.
DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATRE / CINEMA ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Two elderly neighbours were talking the other day and one said to the other. "Hey I just bought a new hearing aid the other day, best hearing aid I've ever had, thing cost over 4,000 dollars."
"Great! What kind is it?"
"About 12:30."
2. Aussie Etiquette
(NB: A word about Aussie terms you'll find below. A "ute" is a utility vehicle, same as SUV in the U.S.; a "dunny" is a portable toilet;
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewelery.
DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATRE / CINEMA ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
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