Cats - The real Survivors

REUTERS/John Javellana

A cat sleeps with her woman, inside an evacuation centre for victims hit by floods caused by Typhoon Ketsana, locally known as Ondoy, in the town of Taytay, Philippines.

China's one-dog-fits-all law; Owners and Hoarders howling

... but angry pet lovers, hoarders and other crazies are choosing to ignore the policy or find ways around it.

A young Chinese man walks his dog on the streets of Guangzhou, southern China's Guangdong province, the home of Bird Flu and SARS.

Guangzhou's one-dog policy has made many pet owners angry because for decades, most Chinese residents of the southern city of Guangzhou have resigned themselves to the country's strict one-child policy.

But now, a similar restriction on the number of dogs people can have, has got them howling mad.

Raising dogs as pets was banned under the rule of late Chinese leader Mao Zedong as a decadent bourgeois pastime, but with China's growing affluence and pursuit of everything Western, greater numbers of middle-income families have become avid pet owners.

Pampered pedigree poodles and chows are a regular sight on the streets of major cities like Guangzhou and Beijing, but the boom has apparently led to a greatly increased number of stray dogs or abandoned pets.

The number of public spaces getting soiled by dog crap, has also increased, as have the complaints from neighbours who are less partial to being up close and personal with canines.

Tensions normally run high in the closely confined spaces and cramped conditions of China's crowded districts and tenement blocks but this issue is just making matters worse.

I really like the reasoned argument one woman puts up though, saying "What's the difference between one dog and two dogs?" Pretty convincing stuff. Unfortunately, she refused to expand further on this. She also refused to be named and shamed due to the extreme 'sensitivity' of the matter. She left quickly with her dogs, Barking! all of them!

Communications: The Cloud of Silence

The Cloud of Silence! No it has nothing to do with the Triads and it's not a criminal organisation, it's a privacy concept that has been considered for many years by sci-fi writers, film makers and Machiavellian managers.

The problem: how can you hold a confidential conversation in an open office without everyone overhearing? The answer that is being considered here is a device that will create an intimate 'cloud of silence' around the selected participants.

The proposed modern cloud of silence, we are assured, will work as it says on the box. It is being patented by engineers Joe Paradiso and Yasuhiro Ono of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Patented solution
Their idea, revealed in US patent application 2009/0097671 on 16 April, is to make confidential conversations possible in open-plan offices and canteens, the two places most regularly occupied by US employees. It will even let a conversing group move around a room and still remain in a secure sound bubble, like a 'cloud of silence'.

"In open-plan offices, the violation of employees' privacy can often become an issue, as third parties overhear their conversations intentionally or unintentionally," the inventors say in their patent. Their aim is to relieve people of that concern. Presumably the intentional eavesdropper is going to have to make other arrangements or choose a new hobby.

The Plastic Dome scenario

Initially people considered using plastic domes, this was temporarily attempted but quickly fell out of favour, partly due to the obvious suffocation risk and the unbearable humidity. So, the idea of the plastic dome was scrapped but the name and the concept clung on, regardless. The need was still strong in them.

The Modern Solution
In the modern 'cloud of silence' they use a sensor network to work out where potential eavesdroppers are, and mini speakers to generate subtle masking sounds, at just the correct audible level.

It sounds simple, but it needs quite a bit of smart infrastructure. The walls of the room must be peppered with light-switch-sized units that include a microphone, a speaker, an infrared location sensor and networking circuitry connected to a server. When somebody wants to activate what the MIT researchers call the "sound shield", they do so on their desktop computer.

By responding to the position of the computer, the sensors identifies the person's location and maps out the locations of the other people around them. Smart software assesses who is so close that they must be participants in the conversation and who might be a potential eavesdropper.

The array of speakers then aims a mix of white noise and randomised office hubbub at the eavesdroppers. The subtle, confusing sound makes the conversation unintelligible or more unintelligible, depending on which of your colleagues is talking. Good luck! with this new system guys and success in replacing the older low-tech ways.

Low-tech solutions
Clearly, as a human, you will be able to see which of your colleagues around you is wearing their headphones, staring closely at their screen, whilst pounding the keyboard and is completely unaware that they are in the office at all. For convenience, we will call this colleague Troyy. (It's spelled this way because he has an extra Y chromosome!)

From his behaviour you can quickly determine that he is not listening in on your chat. To further disguise your conversation and to drown out your voice completely, you should encourage Troyy to sing along to whatever Country & Western album he is listening to. This is what is called 'white trash noise.'

(Only joking Troyy! Sorry to hear about the dyslexia thing. Love the home-made tatoos! Especially the Mom & Dad one, or Omo & Ada as you have it!)

Alternative methods

Other ways to make your conversations unintelligible is to

1. speak with a strong Scottish or Irish accent. (This has worked very well for me, so far)
   
2. whispering or talking quietly sometimes works (not shouting, is good!)
3. create your own 'zone of silence' by removing or repelling everyone in that area (we will discuss methods and ways of doing this in a separate blog)
   
4. take your chat into a meeting room with real walls and doors
   
5. step outside into the lobby or, if you are European
   
6. step outside into a noisy cafe for a coffee and a croissant!

Sociological argument

I am sure you can think of very many other ways of retaining your privacy and confidentiality in the open office setting. The best defense, of course, is not to have taken any risks or to have done anything disreputable or news-worthy in the first place and then you will have no 'secrets' to protect. In the same way that the poor have no worries about the "fear of loss" and the "cost of ownership".

They are indeed fortunate that they are not kept awake by thoughts about how to protect their savings, investments and ill-gotten assets from thieves, vagabonds, bankers, uncertainty and the vagueness of life, that leads to sudden loss. Perhaps that's why 'they're always with us' and when you here someone ask "Who's with us?" or state that "You're either with us or against us?" you will know that the poor will always be with us, no matter what.

Unfortunately, the poor can't promote us, sponsor us, or financially support us in any way. Neither can they afford to be elected to lead us, which is a pity. A poor leader may be a better leader but that takes us back to the sinister 'cloud of silence'. Discuss!