Build Your Own Hovercraft for the Garden

Procedure: Cut a 4-foot-diameter circle from the plywood. Put your leaf blower in the center and figure out where the nozzle ends up on the circle—trace around the nozzle and cut a hole to match so it will fit tightly. Next make the skirt. Lay your shower curtain down flat and place the plywood circle on top. Fold the shower curtain up and around the edges of the plywood and use a staple gun to secure it all along the perimeter of the circle. Cut off the excess curtain and seal the edge, all the way around, with duct tape. Make it airtight. Don’t skimp. On the underside of the plywood circle, nail a gallon paint can lid in the center to hold down the shower curtain. Cut a ring of six 2-inch holes in the curtain, all a couple of inches from the lid. The air escaping from the shower curtain “pillow” will be the cushion that puts the hover in your craft. Next, secure the leaf blower with screws and connect its nozzle to the hole you cut. Use duct tape to hold it in and seal it up. We also stuck pipe insulation, which has its own adhesive, around the edge of the plywood to protect our hovercraft—and innocent bystanders. Now you’re ready to fire it up. You can screw a chair onto the disc for seating, using wooden risers under the legs if the leaf blower needs more clearance. (That’ll depend on the leaf blower—and chair—you use.) In any case, keep your center of gravity as low as you can—the lack of friction can make the hovercaft slip out from under you quite fast. I know this from experience.

Can you tell the Difference between Heather and Sharks

One of the great joys of being resident in Netherlands is the diversity of the language and in many ways it has given the English and Scottish language many of their words or colloquial terms.

Mainly about fish and religion, which they often enjoy raw.

Today, I was sitting, drinking coffee in lengthy conversation with my, enduring and ever patient Dutch language coach (docent). We were discussing the autumn weather and the changes that it brings to the garden, both here in the Flatlands and back in the UK.

The chat move around to the type of flowers and plants that you would expect to see at this time and that brought us headlong to 'heide' (pronounced 'hay'), which is the Dutch for heather or Erica Vulgaris. The blooming heather moors of my youth. I remember them well!

In my ignorance and confusion I was sure that the word that I heard pronounced as 'hay' was normally the Dutch word for a shark but my teacher quickly chastised me and assured me that the Dutch word for a shark is pronounced as 'ha-a-ay', a subtle difference but one that could be of great importance while gardening or scuba diving.

Imagine the tragedy and chaos that would descend if, whilst visiting your local garden centre and a hungry rogue shark would appear, near to your children (kinderen). Oh no! You would be unable to alert them 'Look out kids, there's a white-tipped reef heather behind you. Run for your lives!'

- or -

Maybe you would terrify them unnecessarily by alerting them to a danger that did not exist. 'Hey, look kids! That's a pretty looking big purple shark behind you, isn't it? Do you think mummy would like it as a present, gift wrapped with a big bow on it? She would be surprised!'

The pen may be mightier than any sword but the ammunition is surely the language used and as an ex-pat Scot I still cannot tell my plants from my predators! Still not as bad as mistaking the King (koning) for a rabbit (konijn), though!

Ladybird Invaders swarm parts of Southern Britain

© ITN 2009

Tens of millions of ladybirds have swarmed into the UK in a mass insect invasion.

Parts of Somerset and Norfolk have seen cars, roads and buildings covered in a thick carpet of the creatures. Sounding a resoounding note of doom for any Greenflies in the area.

Experts say they are thriving on a bumper crop of their favourite food, aphids, thanks to hot and wet weather. The Ladybirds are normally deemed the Gardeners' friend because os their ability to consume the green pests.

It is the most extreme ladybird deluge in Britain since the 1970s and could last for another six weeks.

At Chard in Somerset, a farm with an eco-roof has become a major ladybird hotspot because the warm grass-like matting creates the perfect habitat.