I firmly believe that the greatest thing you can wish for yourself, a relative or close friend is, that after a long, fruitful and enjoyable life, they can experience a sudden and painless death.I also realise that this can be quite disconcerting for a lot of people. That's probably why you cannot find a Hallmark card with just such a message.
Chrysippus
Think of poor Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, who is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs.
It does not say whether the figs lay on the ground, a tax-free windfall or whether they were still attached to the tree but the thought of an intoxicated donkey climbing a tree to consume figs, does make one snigger a bit.
What we do know is that this was not a sudden end for Chrysippus. He spent a long time tittering on the edge of oblivion before he finally slapped his thigh for the last time and keeled over.
Empedocles
Another example of a less-than-sudden death is Empedocles. He is recorded to be a pre-Socratic philosopher (although he didn't know it at the time). He is also famed for 'secretly' jumping into an active volcano (Mt. Etna) to prove that he would be taken up by the gods, perched high on Mount Olympus.
I am intrigued that he did this 'secretly.' It does reveal an inkling of doubt or was he hoping to give everyone a big surprise! I suspect he was being cautious, just in case it didn't work out. Then he could return and pretend it never happened. Unfortunately, I don't think he had thought it all the way through.
'So Emp, is there a Plan B? When you are up to your waist in molten lava and the gods haven't snatched you safely into their ample deitous bosoms, at what point were you going to invoke your escape plan?'
Maybe I have watched too many detective stories but I would certainly have had the wife and the in-laws rounded up and questioned, before accepting this story as true. Definitely a case of death by misadventure.
The London Beer Flood
Another excellent example of life interrupted was in 1814. This was the London Beer Flood, which killed 9 people when 323,000 imperial gallons (1, 468, 000 Litres) of beer in the Meux and Company Brewery burst out of their vats and gushed into the streets. It would have been a long slow death for the people involved, made worse by the fact that several of the men got out twice to go to the toilet!
The Eiffel Tower, Paris
But one of my all time favourite sudden death stories is that of a woman who, in great distress, threw herself off the Eiffel Tower. This occurred at the turn of the century (1900), not long after it was opened. It was a very trendy thing to do at the time and a very iconic place to do it.
Budding Aeronauts
Around this time there were plenty of 'bona fide' cases of people who fully believed they could fly with minuimum mechanical means, which is fine by itself but the problem comes when you want to prove it by gliding nonchalantly off the top of a high building or even better, the Eiffel Tower.
So, with any number of pieces of wood, paper and assorted devices decorating their person, flapping wildly and screaming even moreso, they would optimistically launch themselves off the top storey of the tower, with inevitable and catastrophic results.
I believe that these 'would be' aeronauts can easily be classified as 'reluctant suicides' or a good example of 'evolution' in operation, which was also a very topical subject for discussion at the time.
Corrective Action
The Parisian authorities took great umbrage at the despairing citizens' mis-use of their iconic symbol of imperialistic French engineering and technological achievement. So, after much deliberation and harumphing (a word not found in Wikipedia), they added all manner of barriers, cages and safety nets to prevent, abate and generally thwart, further aerobatic incidents.
Sign of the Times
They also put up a big sign at the ticket booth that said 'No single tickets available', which was a very clever move to add psychological pressure to the mentally unsteady. This made it clear that all passengers would be expected to return by way of the lift or the stairs and there would be no refunds for people who took the quick and more direct way down.
Nowadays there would be an additional disclaimer stating that, 'Any person or persons throwing themselves off the tower, either sane or insane, would be expected to do this at their own risk.' A ravenous pack or frenzy of 'accident litigation' lawyers would be circling on the ground below, hoping for a small shower of failed aeronauts or a heavy downpour of distressed women.
The Eiffel Tower
But let me take you right back to the distressed young lady that we left, abruptly descending from the tower. She had made up her mind to end it all by flinging herself off the tower, which she duly did. There was no way back for her. Her single ticket 'punched' and authenticated to permit one, was fluttering wildly in the Parisian wind, as she fell.
Unfortunately for her, she landed heavily on an unsuspecting pedestrian who was at the base of the tower, posing casually for a photo opportunity. He very kindly but inadvertently, broke her fall and saved her life. Whilst she broke his neck and killed him outright. C'est la vie!
Conclusion
Now my tale is told, all I can say to this is; Wow! that's the way all men want to go, with the weight of a young woman's body on them. D'accord?
Should you wish to seek further information on sudden and unusual deaths click on the link here.
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