Are you over-sharing or just mouthing off?

Being friendly and open on dates is good, but don’t cross the line of telling potential partners too much, too soon.

Privacy isn’t the most valued character trait nowadays.

Twitter, Facebook, checking in on your smart-phone for every lunch, bar and shopping trip – basically, letting everyone know everything has become second nature.

As a general rule, this has many plus points. You can feel closer to friends you don’t have the time or energy to see face-to-face, you can get tips on good new places to hang out, you can spy on people’s wardrobes.

But as with most rules, there are some exceptions and in the case of sharing, that first date is the exception.

It’s not without good reason that throughout history the ‘mystery’ man or woman flickers our flame of intrigue.

Think of the dark brooding Mr Darcy of Jane Austen times, or that dopey girl Peter Andre wanted to get close to in 1996.

Sure, they had water-drenched white shirts and waterfall-filled music videos on their side, but the attraction went much deeper than that; namely that we always like the intrigue and the thrill of the chase.

So when you meet a potential new partner, how do you keep your secretive allure and make sure they’re chasing you, rather than you gushing all over them - information overload.

Anti-social media
One little name-search of your upcoming date is normal. Hanging out outside their house all night is not!

Following each other on Facebook or Twitter can’t do any harm you both need to check each other out, making sure you’re both normal/ human/ take a nice holiday snap and like similar things.

If you agreed to a first date in the first place, chances are, you've been doing a bit of research about each other and a little bit is all you need until you actually meet.

You are not trying to select an interview candidate from a huge pile of CVs! You are just making friends with a select number of people.

If things don’t work out with this person, you will move on to the next. At that time will you be looking back and regretting you shared the entire ins and outs of your whole life with them? Hopefully not.

Don’t pre-date - Leave some Mystery!
With work, friends and general life chores, it can often be a few weeks between you clicking someone you like online and actually meeting face-to-face.

Staying in touch with a few messages or texts in this limbo period is fine, but be careful not to over-communicate. There's a fine line between interested and obsessive!

By sending 20 texts a day, you can develop false intimacy, thinking you know someone better than you actually do and the chances are they'll have blocked your messages by then anyway.

So keep pre-date contact to a minimum and remember if you’ve told them everything before you actually meet, what will there be left to talk about?

Nothing, so all that's left is a long bout of snogging or going to somewhere very noisy to avoid speaking at all!

Ask questions - Don't interrogate!
If, like most normal people, you get nervous on first dates, it’s very easy to want to fill awkward silences with a wall of noise.

This is not helped if you have already been topping up on coffee or worse, vodka! Stick to pre-date soft drinks without caffeine!

Any conversational void gets bombarded with a rush of facts about anything and everything that springs to mind; your bus journey there, your planned bus journey back, what you had for lunch.

Leave some gaps in your monologue to allow the other person to speak about themselves, sometimes.

Being chatty is obviously a good thing, but if it veers into ‘telling everyone absolutely everything’ territory, then stop and turn the conversation around. Ask your date some questions about themselves but do it nicely.

Do not use any interrogation techniques you may have picked up in your army career, on the news or from watching Jeremy Paxman!

You don’t want your date to be so over-whelmed by the minutiae of your life, nor do you want them to feel that your working as an undercover investigator for the local authorities.

Stay cool, calm and collected and above all appear interested in what they're saying. Do not check your emails and text messages during this period and do not check out the cute guys at the bar. We are looking to create intrigue not conflict!

Remember your friends
It’s sod’s law that on the day of your date shit happens but however flustered all the frustrations of life  makes you feel, refrain from telling your date.

If you must unload and gripe to someone, call one of your established mates instead, unload your problems to them, then arrive at your date seeming bright, confident and problem-free.

In general, be pragmatic and philosophical about life's attempts to stub your toe and spill your drinks, on a regular basis.

Laugh at life's hurdles! This is a very attractive characteristic in a person and you should cultivate it before your next date. Good luck!