Here are some options for you to try.
Try being direct
Sometimes, going back to basics is best. Forget all the fancy, over-planned introductions, and go for a simple ‘Hello, how are you?’
No one can tell you to go away, or tell you they’re already seeing someone to fob you off, because you haven’t asked that, you only asked how they are.
Nine times out of ten, you end up having a nice conversation. Think of it as chatting rather than chatting up and it becomes much less scary.
I was recently in a bar, chatting to my mates – everything perfectly calm and normal. Then suddenly this guy appeared beside an attractive woman.
'Hello,’ he said. ‘Look.’ Then he started leaping up and down, hands by his sides. ‘I'm a penguin and I'm trying to break the ice.’
Much to my surprise, he broke it! She couldn’t stop laughing at how totally ridiculous it was, and soon the laughing led to chatting.
Eventually, it led to swapping numbers and three months on, they’re still dating! So if in doubt about how to chat someone up, my advice would be; do something silly! You know you want to, and your good at it!
‘Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?’, ‘Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?’, ‘I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours instead?’
I used to think they were all urban myths, clichés that people laughed about but nobody actually said. Unfortunately, it does work.
One night, a few years ago, when a grinning drunk man came into the pub and announced to an attractive woman: ‘Is it hot in here or is it just you?’
It was the worst line I’d ever heard.
In the end though, it didn’t matter; what mattered is that they were chatting!
It can be a bit of a minefield nowadays. Opening a door or giving up your seat for a girl isn’t seen as nice, it’s seen as sexist.
But standing at a bar, waiting to get served, everything goes a bit retro; every girl appreciates you letting her go first in the queue for the barman!
So you can always say ‘After you’ to a girl you fancy, and maybe she’ll think you’re such a nice guy, you’ll easily start chatting.
Of course she may also think you are a sap, especially if she is Dutch or German. But that's a blog for another day.
Think tactical
I’m not talking full-on disruption pattern clothing and military tactics, but I think a bit of an agenda does help when you’re trying to chat someone up.
If there is someone you fancy but are too scared to talk to, go and say hi to one of her friends instead, or ask if she has the time or knows where the toilets are.
Yes it’s a bit of a cheat’s way out, but it does get you in the picture, and then you can move on to phase 2- actually trying to impress her!’ But do remember to zip up your fly first!
My sister told me she was out at a club dancing around with her mates, having a really lovely night, when this guy walked over and declared: ‘Don’t worry, I can’t dance either’.
He then laughed, implying it was a joke – but she was mad and almost decked him!
Remember some gentle teasing can be good flirting, but there’s a fine line between teasing and outright rudeness – a line this guy over-stepped and it almost cost him his front teeth!
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