Management of French Fly Problem draws a crowd

A competitor tries to fly on a home-made fly during the Red Bull flying objects contest, in Marseille, southern France

French Sex education Lessons seen from Space

French stuntman Alain Robert is Spiderman

Mountains were never enough for French stuntman Alain Robert, who conquered so many of them in his teens that he turned his attention to skyscrapers.

Now 47, Robert has climbed some of the tallest buildings in the world, typically without the aid of safety equipment. On Sept. 1, armed with nothing but the chalk on his hands and some good climbing shoes, the "French Spiderman" added the 88-story Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur to his impressive list — which now totals more than 70 — of skyscrapers scaled.

It was Robert's third attempt at climbing the building, a feat known as "buildering"; he had been captured by security guards on his first two tries, in 1997 and 2007. He was arrested after completing the stunt and now faces 6 months behind bars and a $850 fine.

He is thinking of taking his case to the 'highest' court in the land ........but that's really just for fun!

Blind Dates and Pick-ups - Greetings Cow-eyed Girl! Will you away with me?

Egyptian chat-up lines with strange bovine references

The Red Sea riviera is one of 2009’s hottest destinations. So we ask; have Egyptian men got the silver tongued edge over their continental counterparts? Well, maybe not quite. A local pick-up line is; ‘You have eyes like a cow.’ Also, Egyptian men like their women to be on the heavy side (as if you can choose). So if you have a large tummy they will tell you that you are, ‘....nice and fat.’" How jolly, for you and you don't sweat much either!

France
You would expect French pick-up lines to be more sophisticated. But you could be disappointed. The best I heard recently was; ‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi pour 1,000 euros?’ - Would you go to bed with me for 1,000 euros?”

Quickly followed by: ‘We have to hurry because I need the money urgently!’ Now, you may consider this to be quite topical, especially with the financial crisis but it's maybe not so high on the romantic scale.

Dutch
Apparently, Dutch men believe that their English language skills make it easier to pick up foreign chicks on vacation. The sly dogs!

This summer's winning chat-up line for the coming crop of English tourists to the Netherlands, is: “’Je lijkt op mijn vierde vriendin’ - you look like my fourth girlfriend.

When she replies; ‘O, hoeveel vriendinnen heb je gehad dan?’ - oh, how many girlfriends have you had?

He responds quickly with; "‘Drie’ - three.” and then everyone falls around laughing, of course.

Greek chat-up lines: would Zeus have approved?

To many people, Greek men are the epitome of masculinity. They invented wrestling and siege warfare, and didn’t wear skirts like the Romans. But according to the Athenian men, cheesy lines of Olympian proportions are circulating around the Greek Islands this summer: 1) "How about a pizza and a shag?" "No… I guess you don’t like pizza." 2) "Do you make love to strangers?" "No… OK, let me introduce myself then." Italian Botticelli distilled the female figure while Michelangelo sculpted the Renaissance around its naked curves. What are the latest love lines from the land of Casanova, Lothario and Francesco Totti? The Italians propose that; “If you’re sitting next to a girl, and there is chemistry, ask her, ‘Vorresti barciarmi?’ – would you like to kiss me? “If she says ‘Si,’ then kiss her obviously. If she says ‘Forse’ – maybe – then say, ‘Be indaghiamo piu a fondo’ – let’s delve a little deeper. "But if she says ‘No’ then say, ‘Ho detto che potevi, e' solo che sembra che tu stia pensando qualcosa" - I didn't say you had to, I just assumed you'd been thinking about it. As convoluted as a risotto recipe. Italian men are all talk and no trousers, judging by this line.

The Philippines
The dating scene on these paradise islands may be a grey area for UK travellers, but surely their chat-up lines must be more romantic than those in Britain.

Well, to the innocent all is innocent: Most relationships are slowly cultivated, mainly because most couples went to the same school together.

Chat-up lines tend to be tame, friendly or playful; 'Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight? O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?’, which means ‘Do you believe in love at first sight? Or would you like me to pass by one more time?’

Much better and sweeter than the British classic "I’m no Fred Flintstone but I'll make your bedrock." Yaba-daba-don't bother!

Turkish
The Image Hotel in Turkey’s popular resort of Marmaris hit the headlines in 2008 when the female manager sacked her entire male entourage for getting jiggy with the guests.

The last straw was when the manager saw the bartender, walking out of the bathroom with a British tourist during work hours. Doesn't say whether it was a man or a woman but .....all things must pass!

What is the best Turkey chat-up line to look out for in 2009? “I am a virgin and you are beautiful. I would like for you to teach me how to please a woman.” Presumably the woman he is talking to, not just some random passer-by, cause that would be weird.

Americans

American (Septic tank) chat-up lines can be a very risky business

America's latest world pleaser is its new president. He is portrayed as a smooth and sophisticated man of action, but we know darn well that not all American men are from quite the same mold. (mould?) Let us share this gem of a chat-up line with you: “At a club in Arizona a guy was asked if he wanted to dance. He said, ‘No, but I'd like to get laid.’ She blinked and asked him, ‘How many times a night do you get slapped?’ and he said, ‘At least once or twice, but I also get laid quite a lot, too.’” In the land that gave us fast food, strong women and free love, it pays to be direct and maybe mace-proof and bullet-proof too, especially in Texas! Maced, roped and branded before you've finished sqwaking!

The Irish
The effervescent citizens of the Emerald Isle are very well known for their good natured Blarney and witty repartee. A saucy Dublin unvarnished line of love; ‘Let's play army games. I'll lie down and you can roll all over me.’ Talk about invading your privacy (privates)!

Germany

German chat-up lines abound but beware praline references

The Germans are an educated, well-travelled nation, with a valid reputation for nude sunbathing. Remember, you’re more likely to come cheek to cheek with a German holidaymaker this summer, than being struck by lightening! A 2008 study carried out by some over-sexed, over-qualified and anal-retentive statistician, claimed that Germans were less promiscuous than Britons. Whereas, the flighty Finns were the rampant rabbits of this dubiously official report. Unfortunately, the Taiwanese were the shy retiring giant pandas but they are a very industrious nation, in other ways. However, the Germans have developed and researched in great depth, pick-up lines like these, Picture, if you will, Friedrich, Helmut (with the Dark humour) and Jürgen the surgeon, each with a rolled-up beach towel: 1) "Du bist die süßeste Praline der Welt – und ich hab' die Füllung." You are the sweetest praline in the world – and I have the filling. (Nuts! I crack them) 2) "Hast Du eigentlich schon gewusst das Polen und Indianer die besten Liebhaber sind? Ach, übrigens, mein Name ist Geronimo Koslowski.’ Did you know that Poles and Native Americans are the best lovers? Oh, by the way, my name is Geronimo Koslowski. (Is that your totem, pole or are just pleased to see me?) Is it possible that our German friends have the best chat-up lines this summer. It’s enough to make you choke on your frankfurter!Ich bin ein Hamburger!

Go to it and just do it!

Xmas - 12 Days of it

There is a Partridge in your Pear Tree

The Christmas song “Twelve Days of Christmas” has been a British tradition for centuries. The tune is almost certainly French in origin and the English words can be dated to 1780 and are probably much older. While some people attribute a Catholic mnemonic to the gifts, the song is more likely to come from a memory game played by children on Twelfth Night.

Since 1984 a US financial firm has tried to price the gifts (364 gifts in total, in case you’re wondering)—this year they totalled US$21,080 (£14,071), up nearly 8% from 2007.

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

The Partridge in a pear tree is a rather peculiar image but some say reflects the French origins of the song since the French for partridge is perdix, which is pronounced per dree.

A partridge is the first of a series of meats being offered by the true love (read on!). In the Catholic interpretation, the partridge, the first gift from the true love (God) is Jesus.

Two Turtle Doves

Meat number two, or representative of the Old and New Testaments.

Three French Hens

French hens, because they were generally regarded as better eating. Or representative of faith, hope, and charity.

Four Calling Birds

While most modern versions of the song has calling birds, the original text has four colley birds—another name for the blackbird. Alternatively you’re thinking of the four Gospels.

Five Gold Rings

If we’re going to take the vegetarian option, the birds have been gifts purely for their singing or egg-laying capabilities. And here we get something worthwhile (and in these economically uncertain times, five gold rings is a gift not to be sniffed at). But given the theme so far, we're probably talking about ring-necked pheasants. We may of course be talking about the first five books of the Old Testament that describe man's fall from grace.

Six Geese a-Laying

Laying geese are regarded as more valuable because they lay, apparently not as common as you might think in your average goose. This is turning into quite a feast. Goose was once the Christmas meat of choice and is making a comeback for those who want an alternative to turkey. Turkeys don’t feature in this song since it was really the 20th century before it became the Christmas dish of choice.

Six days of creation, represented here.

Seven Swans a-Swimming

We're on the last meat course. Yes, swans used to be eaten too, especially in high society (the swans on the River Thames all belong to the Queen). Or we’re looking at the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Eight Maids a-Milking

Fresh milk was also a great luxury in the times before refrigeration—as well as a source of pudding since custard and cream both come from milk. Or a reference to the eight Beatitudes.

Nine Ladies Dancing

Phew! The feeding has finished and we're on to the entertainment. Ballet such as The Nutcracker Suite remains a seasonal treat. As do the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit.

Ten Lords a-Leaping

Well, maybe Morris Dancing was not what you had in mind. But folk dancing remained an important aspect of Christmas traditions well into the 19th century. It may also remind you of the Ten Commandments.

Eleven Pipers Piping

So here comes the music. Or a reminder that there were eleven faithful disciples.

Twelve Drummers Drumming

More musicians to accompany the pipers, unless they are here to remind you of the 12 points of the Apostles' Creed.

God Bless us once and for all!