We got your Number - 1,000th Pickpocket Arrested

A pickpocket who was the 1,000th to be arrested by a special police team in Amsterdam will not be prosecuted because she was humiliated and traumatised enough by the celebrating officers, the public prosecution department said on Wednesday.

The police fixed a sign saying '1000' to the back of the woman's coat, which was captured on video and broadcast by a local television station.

A spokesman for the city police force has described the action as 'extremely inappropriate'.

Burglar Answers 'What are you doing now?' on Facebook

A burglar who is currently under arrest by the Pensilvania police department, took time out during his criminal escapade, to log into his Facebook account and update his Profile.

He had broken into a neighbour's house to look for cash and electronic gadgets that he could sell for cash. All was going well for him and he felt confident that he had plenty of time before the owner returned.

So he took the time to have a refreshing drink and log into his Facebook account but unfortunately he did not remember to log back out again. The police had little trouble finding him before he had disposed of his ill-gotten gains. Let's face it, all they had to do was check the phone book or go on line and check out his Profile.

What are you doing right now? Well, we know that one guy is languishing in a Pen. jail. Game Over!

Small Emergencies call for different strategies

Small minds make small emergencies. Several unnecessary reasons for calling the police include;
Running out of Credit on your mobile phone

Leaving your coat on a bus

Arguing with a bookie who refuses to pay out your winnings

Another car or van is obstructing the road in front of you and you need to get your kids to school

An Apology is not enough for this Demonstration

Police confine demonstrators in a bus during racial hatred demonstrations in Birmingham at the weekend.

Demonstrators and Counter-demonstrators clashed with Police when they tried to control the situation.

Mind the Gap!

Newly Wed Bride dumped in the BMW with a crate of Vodka

Tying the knot German Style!

A newly married bride in Germany spent her first wedding night passed out next to a crate of vodka in the back seat of her BMW and had to be rescued by local police when the car began to seriously overheat in the baking sun.

Police in the western city of Cologne (Koln) said on Monday that the very, very, drunk 30-year-old woman remained unconscious in the car, with the car's alarm blaring and even after they smashed the car window to get her out.

"Only after being shaken and slapped several times, did she eventually regain consciousness," police said in a statement.

Still clad in her bridal wedding dress, the dazed woman had to scramble through the broken window because she had no idea where the car keys were or her husband, come to that.

Now there's something to tell your grandchildren when they come along!

Amsterdam Political Establishment Supports Gay Pride 2009

Among the 80 boats taking part in this year's Gay Pride in Amsterdam, many of them will be filled with dancing, singing, scantily clad Police, Army and Political merrymakers, which testifies to the support of the Dutch establishment for the gay emancipation.

The parade will be led this year by a boat from the police gay network, followed by the boat of the Mayor of Amsterdam and his colleagues. The third boat represented the government, with the Ministers of Emancipation, Home Affairs and Development Co-operation and other politicians.

For the first year ever members of the Dutch Armed Forces will be allowed to wear their uniforms.

Hi Toots! You look a little tense. Let's you and I make up and be friends!

You're in the Army now soldier! Stand to attention when you talk to me!

Dutch man arrested for 3GBH! iPhone weapon confiscated by Dutch Police

A man in the Dutch city of The Hague was charged with 3G BH, after hitting a colleague with his mobile phone. A police spokesman said that he had never heard of an iPhone being used in this way before and hoped it was not going to be a repeat call.

He went on to say; 'We've been hearing a lot about high tech crimes in the police station lately but I think this can only be classed as a low tech crime carried out by a low brow, with a high tech device'.

The irony was that the perpetrator had the Police emergency number programmed into his speed dial and accidently hit the 'hot key' when attacking his 'friend'. So he not only committed the crime but also reported himself too. A Police spokesman said that a man is helping the Police with their enquiries and a rather tricky crossword puzzle.

Court Judgement
In court, the judge let him off with a caution and sentenced him to 1 month of community service. This involves helping the over-60's program their iPhone's. He has to teach them how to use all of its extensive facilities and explain predictive text to them! Good Luck! The poor man was taken away screaming and sobbing hysterically begging to be locked up instead!

Russel Crowe threw a Tantrum and his iPhone
The most famous perpetrator of this crime recently was Russel Crowe the Hollywood actor who damaged a member of the hotel staff where he was staying, by throwing his phone at him.

In LA, Mr Crowe was charged with assault with a cool weapon i.e. the phone but was let off with a caution, when he promised to pay off the hotel clerk with a load of cash. The US justice system comes through again for the little guy. Woo! Woo! Hi Five everyone!

NB: We are all too familiar with the term GBH in the UK but this may not be as clear to people from outside the UK. Let me explain a little more. In police and criminal terms, GBH means an assault that causes Grievous Bodily Harm. So, 3G BH is Grievous Bodily Harm with a 3G phone but now I'm giving away the plot! Call me!