ET Calling! Who's the illegal alien now?

Hey! Why the long face!

If you’ve ever lain awake at night, fretting about being beamed up by ET, and let's face it 'Who hasn't!' then alien abduction insurance is for you.

Most AA insurance policies provide financial compensation for individuals who can "prove" that they’ve been kidnapped by aliens and then returned to earth. (Show them your 'Return' ticket stub, etc and make sure it's not your Bus Pass, cause that's gonna ruin your credibility!)

Some even provide protection against the financial effects of "impregnation by aliens" but the premiums are astronomical!

But if you are concerned about intergalactic impregnation tactics and immaculately conceived religious impregnations, I am sure you can get it covered, comprehensibly! Third party, Fire and Theft, is not enough!

Then it's up to you, to keep it covered, especially when you come across aliens of the opposite whatever!

Deadly Shocking Pink or Blonde and Ginger

Pink cyanide millipede

It's bright pink, smells of almonds and goes by the slightly camp name of "Mangkorn chomphoo" but you wouldn't want to mess with this beast.

Discovered in central Thailand in 2007, Desmoxytes purpurosea is a large, spiny "dragon millipede" that oozes hydrogen cyanide to ward off predators - hence the almond-like smell.

Mangkorn chomphoo - Thai for "shocking-pink dragon millipede" - is the latest addition to the dragon millipede family, whose members are found in south-east Asia and Australia. These creatures are often large, spiny and colourful, but Mangkorn Chomphoo takes the biscuit.

At about 3 centimetres in length, it is one of the largest, one of the spiniest and definitely the most lurid of them all.

Blonde-ginger bat (flying fox)

This blonde/ginger fruitbat has striking stripes on its face that make it look rather like a fox.

It is known as the Mindoro stripe-faced fruit bat, or Styloctenium mindorensis.

The species' closest relative lives some 1,200 kilometres away on an island in Indonesia but they never write. Families!

(Image: Harvey John D. Garcia)