Laugh and the World laughs with you!Last time in Part 1, we discussed Blind Dates and some of the do's and don'ts that surround them. This time we will look at ways of meeting people in everyday situations and sparking up a transient conversation that will make you look more cool.
Location, location, ...
It is unlikely that you will meet many people if you stay in your apartment, with the exception of the door-to-door pests and distributors of junk mail. So, we have to go out! Wash and shave (you too men) and dress up nice. Where do we go? Let's start with, where the normal people are. At this point it is not important to seek out a particular 'type' of person. We are simply honing our techniques not targetting a 'dream boat' (look out for a later, more advanced blog on this).
Practice, practice, practice
The sad thing about irregular dating is that you don't get enough practice in making small talk and relaxing in front of unfamiliar people (strangers). So, when you do meet someone you want to impress, it can go a little awry; You try too hard, you talk too much, you laugh too loud when eating and vomit over their new Jimmy Choo's (shoes). We have all done it and paid the price!
Selection of a victim
OK, we are in the shopping mall, supermarket, busy high street, etc (somewhere public and non-threatening). You do not need to check for CCTV surveillance or security guards because this is a harmless exercise and very distant from the 'stalking' or 'pestering' that you are normally associated with.
If you are happier talking to your own sex or the opposite sex, then start there. Let's make this easy for you. All you have to do is select someone who looks friendly, innocent or has the look of an art student. Art students are notoriously gregarious, confident, approachable and informative people, who know where 'it' is at, apparently. Whatever, if things go badly wrong, you can easily buy them off!
The approach
A large majority of the people in shopping malls spend their time looking for stuff. This is not a big secret and these are the people you are looking for. Find someone who is looking at, or admiring something in the shop window (take your lawyers advice and avoid lingerie shops) and simply say something about it, out loud; "That (dress) is a really good colour" or "Gosh, look at the sparkle in that! (jewel)" or "Does that come with batteries?" (electrical gadget shop - remember, we promised not to hang around the sex shops any more).
Whatever you say, smile broadly and say it with some friendly enthusiasm and impact. Avoid sarcasm or phrases like "In your dreams, maybe.." or "I have something better for you at home" or "Do you like easy money?". Also avoid startling them too much. Unlike your normal behaviour, let them see you approach. We are trying to avoid startling, frightening, or any variation on this theme. We are looking for open, friendly, approachable, etc. You have it in you, dig deep.
Small Talking
We are talking about 'small talk' and 'conversation'. Remember, there should be a limited exchange of information during these moments. Information leads to thought and thought leads to an engagement of the rational side of your brain (if it exists). The result, you have just lost the moment, the possibility of connection with the emotional side of the victim's brain that was concentrating on the object in the shop window. Any logical thought will close this squishy warm side down, every shop assistant knows this. You are looking for an open and friendly response, not a geek's discussion on how nylon is made.
It's for You but not about You
Small talk and conversation is always about the other person. You need to appear interested in what they are saying and about them. People are always happy to talk about themselves. You know you are! The trick is to stop yourself talking and to start listening. If you want to hear your own voice; sing in the bath, read out loud while sitting in your apartment alone, pay for a therapist to listen to you, etc.
Catch and release
We are not looking for a life-partner here. We are talking here about transient conversations. Brief encounters (concentrate on lingering thoughts and not lingerie-thoughts, remember). You are working the room (street, mall). "Hi how are you today? You are looking good? Love the tan!". You have heard your favourite cabaret singers do it and it works.
Why? because, what it does, is makes people look on you as a 'nice' 'approachable' 'friendly' cool guy/gal. Now that's progress already! Yesterday you were just a sad, weirdo that followed people around and hung out near lingerie shops, now look at you.
Rebuttal
In the beginning there may be setbacks. Not everyone is going to respond positively but if you are still getting 'maced', then we need to talk. Accept rebuttal with a big bemused smile. Remember to practice this in front of your bathroom mirror, not in public places. Partly because it can reveal your tactics and partly because it'll get you locked up, again. Keep trying and keep practicing. It can be difficult but it's already having a positive effect on you.
Mood enhancement
No, I am not talking about you and your dependency on alcohol and Prozac. I am expecting you to go out to the shopping mall and supermarket, etc and to 'enhance' other people's moods by striking up 'transient' conversations and making 'positive' remarks about them. If you do this regularly then you will become more relaxed, more confident and more welcome. Regularly greeted by smiling strangers and simply the coolest guy/gal in town.
No comments:
Post a Comment