Thursday, December 30, 2010

10 Weird Stocking Stuff

The first, and sadly not the last, attempt to combine the trash can and the gift giving process. We know all the usual stuffers: candy, nips, etc. What we thought we’d do here at This Blog Rules is offer a few ideas that might actually last beyond ten seconds in your family’s memories.

#10) Fake Computer Keys

Yes, these exist, still. Even though they look like they’re from an IBM keyboard model that is really only used by your grandfather on the PC he got for ten bucks at the church rummage sale, apparently there’s enough of a demand for them for them to still be available. So give them to either the computer fetishist you know, or your grandparents. Either way, it’ll cater to their sense of humor.

#9) Edible Candy Cane Shot Glasses


One of the best parts of Christmas is being able to drink, which allows you to put up with your family long enough to get presents before you all pass out, then wake up a few hours later vaguely ashamed and ready to leave. So why not combine that with candy canes? Do the shot, eat the glass, offer a pray for forgetfulness. It’s the most courteous gift dysfunctional families can give each other.

#8) Dysfunctional Family Bingo


Maybe your family has finally driven you, or one of your family members, to AA. God knows it’s happened to us. So, for those who can’t consume vast amounts of the traditional Christmas Mind Erasers, give them these bingo cards. You can use your year chips for markers!

#7) Catapult Spoon


Another ritual that takes a lot of endurance is Christmas dinner, wherein people who cook a few times a year prepare a meal far beyond their abilities for a group of people who are barely able to taste it. So give out gifts that liven up the dinner, like this food flinger that will finally get across just how little you like the Tuna Ritz Casserole Surprise (the surprise? No tuna.)

#6) Bacon Gumballs


OK, OK, bacon has become far too trendy. But that said, it’s always fun to surprise people with vile gum, so we present gum that tastes like a pork product some nutritionists refuse to accept as a meat. Give your family the surprise of the evening, not to mention something edible.

#5) Uranium Soap


Fun with soap is a Christmas tradition, as we are apparently have to give our family cleaning products to drop a subtle hint about how much they smell. So, for the ones who can’t even pay the electric bill, give them the soap that glows. And possibly sterilizes.

#4) Smencils


Another Christmas tradition are writing utensils, which are apparently rare enough to qualify as a gift to be crammed into stockings. So have some fun with it at least, and give them Smencils, the pencils that smell funny. Wait, that came out wrong.

#3) Fetus Cookie Cutter


Yeah, you don’t need us to explain this one.

#2) Candy Urine Samples


Wait, these taste sour? Shouldn’t they taste like asparagus? Eggs? Something along those lines?

#1) Whiskey Stones


Finally, you can achieve the dream of many across the country, giving your annoying relatives rocks. OK, technically these are useful rocks. They’re used instead of ice cubes; freeze them, dump them in your whiskey, and you have a cool, soothing item in your drink that won’t water it down. So give everyone rocks for Christmas! Hooray!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

My Blackberry is not working!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Neil Gaiman's Animated Christmas Poem

39 Degrees North: Christmas Card 2010 from 39 Degrees North on Vimeo.

39 Degrees North, a Beijing motion graphics studio, started developing an unconventional Christmas card this year. And once they got going, there was no turning back. Above, we have the end result – an animated version of the uber dark Christmas poem written by Neil Gaiman, the bestselling author of sci-fi and fantasy short stories. The poem was published in Gaiman’s collection Smoke and Mirrors.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Happy Wedding Pics!

Have you ever wondered how brides pee with such huge dresses?

Wardrobe fail...

This bridesmaid had too much to drink.

Not her best angle.

These two are going to be late to the ceremony!

The classic - getting her pre-ceremony buzz on and pits shaved… who hasn't done that before?

It looks like a very boring ceremony.

Cramped picture.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Horse Outside Video

Viagra fencing?

Street Art: Donkey Kong

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Flash mob goes terribly wrong - Video

Tom Scott's Ignite London talk "Flash Mob Gone Wrong" is a fictional account of just how badly a flash mob could go.

It's got an eerie ring of plausibility, largely because each of the steps leading up to the disastrous ending actually happened, just not all together. It's a freaky way to spend five minutes

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

TSA: Ministry of Offense Video