Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Art is Trash and Trash is Art

Xmas letter to all n family

Sounds like a great time was had by everyone everywhere!

Can't imagine how you managed to entertain so many people at Xmas without a number of fights, squabbles and minor skirmishes breaking out, or is that just a Scottish thing? If you did do it successfully, give yourself a big pat on the back or ask someone you trust to do it for you.

I don't think I even know more than 10 people. Certainly can't think of more than 5 that I am able to sit down and eat with. My partner says that's an improvement on other years. Yahoo! I'm maturing like an old bottle of something alcoholic or pickled cabbage.

Can't believe you guys in th eNorth are not having a snow ploughing event this year or is that to come? We have had a couple of inches of snow, causing major chaos for no good reason, other than drivers' determination and lack of skills in starting, stopping and turning corners.

Good to hear the old 'yins are doing well. Have added a couple of Xmas pics to Faceboook of family fooling around in Schipol airport. It makes us look like we have hundreds of multi-national friends and people in uniforms attending our Xmas party.

It also means I don't have to buy a dead tree to decorate and then discard, in the manner of Victorian German royalty. Instead, going this year for the video capture of a completely decorated tree and fully lit tree, supplied to Schipol by KLM and European Flying Partners, then projecting that, on a continuous loop, onto the wall of the house and playing someone's ipod, stuffed with electronically seasoned music. Just a big ole romantic, eh?

Thinking of bringing back the traditional Xmas where we got an orange and a shiney peeble in your sock. The next year I got an apple and a pointy stick. The third year I got a pear and a whittlin' knife. After that I started getting toys to play with but that was mainly because I was carrying a pointy stick, a rock and whittlin' knife to the playground. Not much has changed, eh?

Wishing you and the family the most preprosperous year ever and no looking back.

Fabulous Lighting Ideas from packaging

Beautiful Lighting ideas! Click here for link! .......

Anke Weiss, a talented Dutch artist, has designed a series of beautiful lights made from recycled food and drink packaging. Enjoy!

Never mind IKEA and their marketing ploy of using obsolete junk and re-designing it into stuff.

You can make yourself something practical, artistic and unique

NB - Another great idea from the School of frugal Dutch!

ALMA - Short Animation Film

Alma from Rodrigo Blaas on Vimeo.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

War is Over - Yoko Ono and John Lennon

A Xmas message from Yoko Ono and John Lennon!

Click on the picture for a multilingual presentation

Monday, December 21, 2009

Dutch Playing away from Home?

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Snowman Irn Bru Ad: Very Scottish

Xmas: Church backs depiction of Jesus by a carrot and approve 5-a-day nativity presentation

Ah, the spirit of Xmas is still with us as is the green and healthy movement.

A fruit and vegetable nativity scene that depicted baby Jesus as a carrot has been given the church's blessing.

Tulleys Farm, in Turners Hill, near Crawley, West Sussex, also used onions for the heads of Mary and Joseph.

Rude Fruit
This has nothing to do with the English love of all vegetable that are in the shape of genitalia or other potentially rude objects. No, this is about everyday, random pieces of vegetables and fruit.

The Dutch View
If this had been a Dutch presentation then I would have expected the vegetables to be past their sell by date and unfit for human consumption. The Dutch would not approve of this frivolous waste of good products that could be transferred into profit.

They would use wax fuit and veg for this or certainly some 'carrot' substitute and if you are going to fake it, then you may as well make it look like baby Jesus, toch!

Religious Comment
One visitor labelled the representation as "offensive" but Rev Gordon Parry, the local vicar, has given it his backing and invites everyone back to the vicarage for a big mug of vegetable soup after Xmas! Bless.

Suggestions please
How to portray the 3 wise men, or magi (isn't that the name of a vegetable stock cube?)

Also we need suggestions for fruit that looks like an ass (not your ass, or your mother's ass, so that rules out peaches and watermelons) and, more tricky, a camel!

Pumpkin carvers and vegetable totem sculpturers, need not apply, cos that's just weird!

Friday, December 18, 2009

North Face Sues South Butt

The North Face Apparel Co. has filed a trademark infringement suit against a teen who started a company called The South Butt to help pay for college.

The North Face’s tag line is “Never Stop Exploring'' while The South Butt sells products with the tag line “Never Stop Relaxing,” according to the Associated Press. The South Butt’s founder, Jimmy Winkelmann, has said the fleece jackets and other clothing sold by his company are intended to mock people who wear brand-name clothing sold by outfitters like The North Face, the Missourian reports.

In The South Butt's online disclaimer, the company distances itself from The North Face, concluding: "If you are unable to discern the difference between a face and a butt, we encourage you to buy North Face products."

Read the full story at Associated press

Artic conditions in Northern Europe - Frozen Penquins

Monday, December 14, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The best way to eat a chicken wing - Yummy!

How to Eat a Chicken Wing - An Eating Chicken Wings Breakthough! @ Yahoo! Video

Alfred Hitchcock's surefire cure for Insomnia

Pigeon Impossible Video

If you haven’t heard of it yet, you have to now. It had its premiere on the 9th of November and soon transformed into a viral hit, as Lucas Martell likes to name it. I’m inviting you to watch the video and you will surely think the same thing as its creator, Lucas.

Pigeon Impossible is the tale of Walter, a rookie secret agent faced with a problem seldom covered in basic training: what to do when a curious pigeon gets trapped inside your multi-million dollar, government-issued nuclear briefcase.

The film took nearly 5 years to complete and is the first attempt at animation by writer/director Lucas Martell: “When the project started, it was mostly an excuse to learn 3D animation, but by the end of the project I had spent so much time reworking and polishing the story that I just wanted people to laugh.”

The end-result is a hilarious 6-minute romp through the streets of Washington D.C. as our hero fights to save himself, and the world from the chaos reigned down by a hungry pigeon. Breathtaking visuals and a sweeping soundtrack showcase the work of nearly one-hundred talented artists and musicians, and the film stands as a testament to what can be accomplished by a team of dedicated volunteers working for the love of their craft.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Xmas Gift for the Recently Divorced Woman

Beware of Excessive Dosages of Pro-Biotic and Caffeine

You may startle the Postman or stretch your flanellette PJ's beyond repair.

Icebergs can never stay together, there's too much going on under the surface

Alas it will end in floods of tears, when icebergs meet.

Whereas, if an iceberg and a tropical island meet they will be well matched.

Either, the iceberg will melt and bond with the island or the island will dissolve into the iceberg. It may only be a luke warm and gritty relationship but at least they are together.

The Romantic Entanglement of Geographical Features.

That's what happens when you study diverse subjects at school e.g. Geography and Psychology, a bizarre hybrid knowledge is created. Brought together by an unholy alliance, a deviant educationist who can manipulate and distort a vulnerable curriculum.

Tune in next week, when our next speaker will be talking about his inventions, following completion of his studies into Pharmaceutical Chemistry and Handicrafts.

He will demonstrate his new treatment for exzema, using a cortisone impregnated woolen cardigan, embroidered with silk ribbons and nouveau embroidery anglaise. Tres chic! and effective!

Belusconi shakes hands with a fresco!

Look out for Electriferous: Fossil Fuel Energy by another name

I think it was what Mary Poppins and Dick the Dyke used to power their house in Gritty City Cough Bang, init!

Undercover Indian Commando monitors traffic in Mumbai

So far so good. No-one has noticed my disguise. Ninja elephants rule!

Get me a Taxi and make it snappy! Another commando makes an unfortunate choice of costumes and pays the price!

Take me to the river, drop me in the water!

Vienna Boys Choir flees Amsterdam's red-light district hotel

Shock Horror!
Vienna Boys Choir bosses were horrified when the world-famous choir turned up to stay at a hotel – and found it was in a seedy red-light district.

German media reported today (Weds) the choirboys pleaded with bosses to relocate them after realising the "Hotel Modern" was in the middle of Hanover’s infamous Steinertor district when they arrived for a performance at the Theater am Aegi.

The 25-strong choir eventually went instead to the "Queens Hotel" in the Kirchrode district.

Vienna Boys Choir president Walter Nettig confirmed the reports.

"The accommodation is booked by the organisers. Such an incident would not have happened back when I was a choir boy. We always stayed with host families on tour," he said.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Santa banned in Vienna

However, not everyone likes Father Christmas. The Freyung Christkindlmarkt or Christmas market in Vienna's city centre has banned Father Christmas, red caps and carols because they are too commercial and not traditional

Best Outdoor Xmas Decoration Ever!

"Good news is that he truly out did himself this year with his Christmas decorations. The bad news is that he had to take him down after 2 days.

Too many people came screaming up to the house than ever.

Great stories but two things made him take it down.

First, the cops advised him that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked their squad car when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself putting it against the house not realising it was a fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy).

By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. The yard couldn't take it either. He has more than a few tyre tracks where people literally drove up the yard."

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Germany: Pensioners Kidnap And Torture IFA over losses

Revenge of the old rage pensioners.

A GANG of pensioners who kidnapped and tortured their financial adviser when their fortunes turn to losses, allegedly due to the global credit crisis, were yesterday charged with illegal hostage taking and grievous bodily harm.

American-born James Amburn, 56, was ambushed outside his home in Speyer, west Germany, where he was bound with masking tape and bundled into the boot of a car after being hit over the head with the walking stick of one of his kidnappers.

"It took them quite a while because they ran out of breath," said Mr Amburn, who was driven to the Bavarian lakeside home of one of the gang who lost the equivalent of almost £2 million in total.

Another retired couple joined the kidnappers in the cellar where Mr Amburn was chained up and tortured for four days in June.

"The fear of death was indescribable," Mr Amburn said. He was rescued when he was ordered to send a fax to release funds from a Swiss bank and managed to scribble a message on it for the recipient to call police.

Police in Germany said the gang had received fan letters since the kidnapping but that "nothing could excuse" their behaviour.

Two of the kidnappers, Roland Koenig, 74, and Willy Dehmer, 60, attacked Mr Amburn outside his home and bundled him into an oversize cardboard box.

He was then stuffed into the boot of their silver Audi saloon car and driven 300 miles to the home of Koenig, on the shores of Lake Chiemsee in Bavaria.

The Koenigs were among five pensioners who said they lost their "nest eggs" after investing through Mr Amburn's firm, Digitalglobalnet.

Another couple, retired doctors Gerhard and Iris Fell, aged 63 and 66, arrived to assist the kidnappers, who also included Koenig's wife, Sieglinde, 79.

While in the cellar, Mr Amburn claims he was chained up "like an animal", burned with cigarettes and had two ribs broken when he was hit with a chair leg.

He said: "I told them that if I sold certain securities in Switzerland they could get their money and for this I had to send a fax to a bank."

They agreed and he sent a fax. But unbeknown to them, he had scribbled a message on the bottom of the paper for whoever received it to call the police.

Allowed out of the cellar for a cigarette break in the garden while the kidnappers awaited their loot, Mr Amburn attempted to escape over a wall.

In the pouring rain he ran down the street pursued by his captors in the Audi A8 they had used to transport him to the house.

Several people saw him, but Roland Koening shouted: "He's a burglar!"

Mr Amburn was then dragged back to the cellar where he sustained the broken ribs as a "punishment" for trying to escape.

Shortly afterwards, the Swiss bank telephoned police in Germany and a team of armed commandos stormed the house.

His captors now face a minimum of five years in jail each if they are found guilty. Their trial begins in the New Year.

Chief public prosecutor Volker Ziegler said: "They were angry because they invested money in properties in Florida and Kuwaiti funds and he lost it all.

"This was black money – they hadn't declared it to the revenue authorities in Germany."

Jerusalem: Pilgrim's lack of progress

Vlademir Carpin, a Russian Christian pilgrim, lies in a cave at the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem. Carpin says he decided to live in the cave to await the return of the Messiah, or his senses, whichever comes first!

Picture: AFP/GETTY

Gay Rights Parade in Peru? Watch it grow!

The Pachamama Festival in Peru's Sacred Valley.

Chill man! Are Humans Descended from Kangaroos?

Big Red says: "Chill Man! You humans are descended from Kangaroos, get used to it!"

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

NASA: Vehicle Assembly Building Kennedy Space Centre

AIArchitect This Week Face of the AIA: Architects Remember the Building that Helped Put a Man on the Moon

Summary: As tall as a 52-story building and as wide as a city block, the Vehicle Assembly Building (VAB) at the Kennedy Space Center on Merritt Island in Florida cuts a stark and lonely profile along the Atlantic Ocean coastline. A brick-like rectilinear mass that’s almost totally devoid of human-scaled features, it’s a hyperbole--a simple, exaggerated sketch of a building. Read More.......

Monday, December 7, 2009

Abraham Lincoln meets Sarah Palin

Hey! Why the long face Abe? Oh, I see. You've been reading her book and you paid full price for it! Bummer!

Genetically Modified Duck Banned from China Olympics

Oldest Giant tortoise dies in France at 146

One of the oldest giant tortoises in Europe has died at its home in Paris at the age of 146, its carers said on Friday.

Kiki, a male tortoise, was brought to France fully grown from Mauritius in 1923, Michel Saint-Jalme, director of the wildlife centre in Paris's Jardin des Plantes where the animal lived, told AFP.

Kiki stayed in Paris throughout the German occupation in the World War ll right up to his death on Monday from an infection due to lesions in his gut -- something not unusual for a tortoise of his age, Saint-Jalme said.

"He was eating normally," Saint-Jalme said. "But he had been showing signs that he was not well for several days."

Kiki weighed 250 kilograms (550 pounds) and had to be moved around using a fork-lift machine. He left behind him four other younger and smaller giant tortoises in the wildlife centre.

Saint-Jalme said he believed Kiki to be one of the biggest tortoises in Europe -- among some 375 of the endangered species of giant tortoises in captivity and 150,000 in the wild.

"We are all rather moved by his death, because he was one of the stars of the gardens," Saint-Jalme said.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Friday, December 4, 2009

Cutest Kitten YouTube Video

Copenhagen Climate Change Summit Sex Discrimination

Danish sex workers are offering free sex to COP15 in order to defend their industry.

Copenhagen Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard sent postcards to city hotels warning summit guests not to patronize Danish sex workers during the upcoming conference. Now, the prostitutes have struck back, offering free sex to anyone who produces one of the warnings.

Copenhagen's city council in conjunction with Lord Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard sent postcards out to 160 Copenhagen hotels urging COP15 guests and delegates to 'Be sustainable - don't buy sex'.

"Dear hotel owner, we would like to urge you not to arrange contacts between hotel guests and prostitutes," the approach to hotels says.

Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk.

According to the report, the move has been organized by the Sex Workers Interest Group (SIO).
"This is sheer discrimination. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position as Lord Mayor in using her power to prevent us carrying out our perfectly legal job. I don't understand how she can be allowed to contact people in this way," SIO Spokeswoman Susanne Møller tells avisen.dk.

Møller adds that it is reprehensible and unfair that Copenhagen politicians have chosen to use the UN Climate Summit as a platform for a hetz against sex workers.

"But they've done it and we have to defend ourselves," Møller says.

H1N1 Swine flu Vaccine: Santa's little helper

"Don't worry, it's just a little prick!"
"How do you know?"

Hilary Clinton Diplomatically avoids mentioning Millibands Halitosis

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton quickly reaches for the breath mints as Britain's Foreign Secretary David Miliband starts to talks at the start of a NATO foreign ministers meeting in Brussels.
Experts on body language can make up their own mind about her positioning but remember Hilary Clinton does have trouble with flatulence in public and a reputation for sharing.
Picture: REUTERS

DNA Evidence Demonstrated by Mime artist in Chinese court

Woman devoured by performing slinkie attack in live circus act!
Kidding! Its really an artist from the Jinan Acrobatic Troupe of China performing with many, many hula hoops during a rehearsal for the Fragrance of the Opera show in Tawan.

Picture: REUTERS

Tiger Woods Collage sells golf and sports

Tiger Woods is the Target of tabloid gossip over his alleged affairs - and here is a portrait of the golf ace made by Jason Mecier.
Its made from items from the US retailer, Target and not a condom or cocktail waitress in sight.


DIY Train Transport from Germany - Recycle and save money

Train buffs are facing jail after building their own loco and taking it on the public rail network. The six-seater train was made out of garden furniture and salvaged train parts.
Police in Erfurt, Germany, used a helicopter to stop it after railway bosses suspended all services to avoid a collision.

Alcohol Pills from Russia, Go Down Easily

A professor in Russia has developed a new technique that allows boozehounds to get drunk without having to worry about spilling vodka on their finest bar threads.
Evgeny Moskalev of Saint Petersburg Technological University has developed an “alcohol pill” using a procedure that turns booze into a powder.
Professor Moskalev claims he can create the potent pills from any type of alcohol, including wine, whisky, wine and beer. Eh, the pills could be good news for winos with tiny bladders and beer chuggers with an oversensitive gag reflex.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Chocolate iPhone case cover

If you’re struggling to find a gift for that chocolate lover on your list, check out this fun iPhone case made to look just like a thick bar of milk chocolate.

But be aware, like so many other fun things this one is more silcone than real.

The iPhone slips right into the silicone case, which keeps it protected in your purse, bag, pocket—wherever. Just don’t let anyone go snooping or they might think they’ve found a snack.

The cases retail for only fifteen dollars and will make a great stocking stuffer for any iPhone user with a sweet tooth.

Donkey Smuggling in Cyprus - Becoming more bold

H1N1: Swine Flu Dogs in China

Pet dogs wearing protective masks areseen in the streets of Beijing, China. Two dogs were diagnosed with the A/H1N1 flu virus last week in Beijing
Picture: EPA

Circus tricks That Make you Popular

Performer Jess Ward moves through a series of contorted movements as the 2009 graduating students from the National Institute of Circus Arts in Melbourne prepare for their showcase
Picture: AFP/GETTY

Secret Shark Santa in underwater aquarium

A child looks into a tank at the Blue Planet Aquarium at Cheshire Oaks as a scuba diver in a Santa suit feeds the sharks and other fish


Paris: Eiffel Tower backdrop for beautiful horse

A horseman from the Gucci Masters directs a horse to execute a figure at the Trocadero in Paris
Picture: AFP/GETTY

Gamers: USB Robot Toys

A model displays a 2GB flash memory Transformer Devicelabel made by Japanese toy manufacurer Tomy, in Tokyo. The device can also be transformed into a robot toy
Picture: AFP/GETTY

Scrappage deal: Old cars in Germany reach a peak level

A Ford dealer in Essen, Germany, displays a Peugeot 205 in a skip outside his dealership

Gnomes cause health and safety row

Sandwell Metropolitan Borough Council (picture depicts primitive mentality and superstitious belief systems, not attributed to the council, of course), a UK West Midlands local authority, has apologised to a woman who was wrongly told to remove two ornamental gnomes from outside her home on health and safety grounds.

They said that a letter sent to Linda Langford, which also instructed her to withdraw a pottery ninja tortoise from a communal area outside her flat in Tipton, had been based on a misunderstanding of its fire safety rules.

The note from Sandwell Homes to Mrs Langford, 57, ordered her to take down a 'Welcome' plaque, as well as the gnomes - one of which is industriously hitting an anvil, and the other is studiously reading a book.

Clearly, this is offensive and an afront to the non-reading, unemployed people of Sandwell who's expectations will be altered and distorted on seeing these statuettes depicting unrealistic and unattainable pursuits of the middle and moneyed classes, allegedly.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

FoxSexpert talks about: Unforgetable Sex-Related Amnesia

Spot the Difference in these two pictures. I'll give you a clue it's all about the size of your buns.

You could not make this stuff up! Try this for size!

You just had the most incredible sex of your life. Only you can’t remember it. Sounds like a sick joke, but forgetting the absolutely unforgettable is a real occurrence.

Lovers have been known to blank out on entire sexual experiences, having no recollection of the event or their orgasmic responses.

What exactly is this phenomenon? And could it ever happen to you?

Sexual amnesia can happen to anyone, and most unexpectedly. Did you and your lover really have sex this morning or is your sweetie pulling your leg? Why do you have no recollection of that night of passion? What exactly happened with the hottie you brought home last night?

In many of these baffling cases, alcohol or drugs aren’t to blame. But you can point the finger at another culprit. Well-described in medical literature since 1956, transient global amnesia (TGA) is known as "recurrent coital amnesia" when it is triggered by sex. During such sudden, temporary memory loss, a person’s ability to recall recent events and new information totally disappears.

Suddenly, you can’t remember where you are or how you got there. You do know who you are, and can recognize and name the familiar, including your sexual partner (unless you just met). You just can’t remember what happened during this memory impairment and possibly anything that happened several hours before its onset.

So what brought on this state? Surprisingly, this rare, short-lived phenomenon isn’t due to a neurological condition, like epilepsy or stroke, or recent head injury. Instead, TGA is typically traced to a stressful emotional or physical event. These include:

— Hard physical exertion;

— Sudden cold or hot water immersion;

— Overwhelming emotional distress from bad news, conflict or working too hard;

— Medical procedures, like an endoscopy (a minimally invasive medical procedure);

— Sexual intercourse.

With sex in particular, TGA is typically triggered after climax. Medical practitioners have also noticed that using the Valsalva method -- a discouraged sex move involving squeezing the pelvic floor muscles while pressing down, as though having a bowel movement -- precedes TGA in some males.

Sex-related or not, one thing all of these factors have in common is a sudden lack of blood flow to the brain. Brain scans indicate that blood flow to areas of the brain involving memory appears disrupted during TGA. And any time blood flow is restricted to the brain, a person’s ability to record new memory is severely impaired.

Because it cannot be distinguished from other life-threatening conditions, immediate medical attention needs to be sought when TGA strikes during or after intercourse. Dead giveaways that something is wrong include babbling, apparent confusion and repeatedly asking questions about ongoing events like "What are we doing?" or "What time of year is it?"

When asked by their partner or later by a doctor, they’re unable to correctly answer questions like "Who is the president?" or "What year is it?" Equally perplexing, however, is the fact that one’s vocabulary and movement are not impaired. There is no clouded consciousness.

Other symptoms may include headache, nausea, vomiting, anxiety, agitation, dizziness, chills, fear of dying, "pins-and-needles" sensation, trembling, sweating, visual disturbance, racing heartbeat, cold hands and feet, and great emotionality.

TGA episodes last an average of six hours (going for no more than 24 hours), with one’s memory returning gradually. Thankfully, all indicators are that a person’s memory is OK afterward, and the TGA has apparently done no damage. One’s immediate recall ability appears to be preserved.

TGA is equal opportunity when it comes to sex and race, but those over 49 are at higher risk of experiencing this sudden memory loss. Physical events tend to precipitate TGA in men, while emotional events, a history of anxiety, or pathological personality are more associated with women.

While the underlying cause is unknown, a history of migraines is a prime suspect for any individual. Experiences with migraines or coital headaches (sex headaches) have been linked to some who experience TGA.

Overall, incidence in the U.S. is 5.2 cases per 100,000 individuals. Interestingly, this is higher than incidence estimates in Alcoi, Spain, which is at 2.9 cases per 100,000, but lower than the 10 cases per 100,000 in Belluno, Italy. While the annual recurrence is low, over one’s lifetime, recurrence can be as high as 24 percent, which may work to your advantage.

After all, almost any lover is open to a good excuse when it comes to rationalizing having done anything regrettable. TGA may just be the perfect fib for that unfortunate time you forget your partner’s birthday, anniversary or seemingly most amazing sex session.

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."