Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Funny cat playing Mac

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Three Big Pigs - Video

The war is over!

'Please! Come down son, the War is over!'

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Yoga-inspired traffic lights

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Bettie Page reveals all!



"Bettie Page Reveals All" is the inside, true story of the world's greatest pin-up, nude and fetish model, told in her own words.

The film is a provocative expose about Bettie Page's on camera joie de vivre blasting past 1950s censorship efforts. Fans view her as a heroine who planted seeds that sprouted the American Sexual Revolution.

Amid swirling legends about her private life, Bettie Page, cult icon, took hold as a pop culture phenomenon -- without Bettie's knowledge or participation.

Amazingly, her 1950s popularity was eclipsed by 21st Century adulation. Made with Bettie Page's authorization and currently in post-production, Bettie Page Reveals All is produced and directed by Academy Award® nominee, Mark Mori.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Squirrel almost writes off £5k car

A hungry squirrel almost destroyed a man’s £5,000 car after deciding it was a suitable place to store hundreds of nuts.

When John Gold, 59, took his 03-plate Vauxhall Astra into his local Bosch Car Service garage in Warwick, he was not prepared for what he was told.

When mechanics opened the bonnet of Mr. Gold’s car to fix a leaking radiator, they were quick to discover that the vehicle’s air intake system was completely crammed full of peanuts.

“I couldn’t quite believe what the garage was telling me”, said Mr. Gold, who runs a machine components company, WGS, in Leamington Spa. “There were literally hundreds of them stashed in there!

My mother-in-law regularly puts seeds out for the birds next to where I park the car, so the squirrel must have taken them from there and hidden them in the airbox. My car must be a haven for rodents, as last time I took it in for a service, I faced a £1,400 bill because rats had chewed through the HT leads in its engine!”

Jason Perry, the manager of Bosch Car Service garage, Warrington’s of Warwick, said: “In 42 years of working in this business, we have never seen anything quite like this! When we lifted up the bonnet to investigate the problem, we certainly weren’t expecting to find a hoard of nuts. We were very surprised the car was still running, as the nuts were completely blocking the filter. Rodents can sometimes find their way into car bonnets and can cause quite considerable damage. Right next to the air intake is the Engine Control Unit if the squirrel had started to chew the wires – like Mr. Gold’s last experience with rats – it could have caused very serious damage to the vehicle.”

“Unfortunately, there’s not a lot people can do to prevent rodents setting up home under their car bonnets, especially if they live in rural areas like Mr. Gold”, Jason continued. “However, it does help to check your car regularly, as it is those vehicles left unattended for long periods of time that it tends to happen to.”

Pimp my Stag Beetle

Australian artist Scott Bain uses real insects,  old watch parts and small model figures to create his Micromachina series. Adelaide-based Scott, 39, explains: 'Micromachina examines what makes the insect world tick, and considers our attempts to control nature and the consequences. Once the stuff of science fiction, today flying and crawling insects are used by the military, fitted with audio and video devices. This exhibition experiments using real taxidermy beetles as mechanised shells, to show how we mistreat our fellow inhabitants, forcing them to do our will.'
Australian artist Scott Bain uses real insects, old watch parts and small model figures to create his Micromachina series. Adelaide-based Scott, 39, explains:

"Micromachina examines what makes the insect world tick, and considers our attempts to control nature and the consequences.


Once the stuff of science fiction, today flying and crawling insects are used by the military, fitted with audio and video devices.


This exhibition experiments using real taxidermy beetles as mechanised shells, to show how we mistreat our fellow inhabitants, forcing them to do our will."

Saturday, March 5, 2011

George Galloway versus Glasgow cabbie


A short story about George Galloway at Glasgow Airport involves him hailing a taxi. Having strode out majestically in his expensive Italian camel coat and sporting a fashionable leather attaché case, he approached the cab smoking, and obviously enjoying, a very large Havana cigar.

The Glasgow cabbie stopped him from getting into the cab and pointed out, very politely and respectfully that smoking was not allowed in the taxi.

Galloway was affronted and in a rather pompous and off-hand tone he asked the cabbie; ‘Do you know who gave me this cigar?’ but before he could get an answer, he proffered the reply; ‘Fidel Castro!’

Undaunted, the cabbie opened the glove compartment of his taxi and pulled out an open packet of Hamlet cigars. He turned to Galloway and asked; ‘Do you know who gave me these?’ and without waiting for a response continued; ‘Betty from RS McColl’s! Now put that feckin’ cigar out!’

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Scottish Humour

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him about it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed
him in front of a train. - He was chuffed to bits.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...
I thought to myself, these feckers have lost the plot!!

I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
check her balance. - Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....
'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the
humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went
to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Bollocks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield.
3.1415927 dead

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind
a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a
shit."

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.’ - I bought her bathroom scales!

Instead of giving me some sexual satisfaction, my girlfriend tried exciting me using her keyring.
I felt like I was being fobbed off.

Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. 
She asked if i'd like to wind it....
I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave it a dead leg instead.

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C,"he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that
the Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting.