As you probably know, that’s not the case. Men are a great deal more picky than their constantly-randy reputation suggests. What’s really infuriating is they’re often turned off by daft little things – including things that women do to be more sexy. It really isn’t fair.
So what are these sexy strategies that actually aren’t sexy at all? Read on!
Success saboteur 1: Wearing too much make-up
Most male daters we spoke to insisted that they prefer the natural look to a trowelling of slap. A bit of concealer and mascara is all you need (men will think you’re completely au naturel). Lashings of make-up spells “high-maintenance” – and any man will wonder what horrors you’re trying to hide under that mask.
Success saboteur 2: Playing hard to get
Isn’t it infuriating when a man plays with your head by blowing hot and cold? It may trigger your interest in the short run, but it’ll soon make you frustrated and insecure. In the end, you can’t be bothered with him or his mind-games.
Well, men feel the same way. They don’t want to be stalked, but they do want to be asked out. If you fancy a guy, chat him up. He’ll be too delighted to reject you.
You’ll also gain points for keeping up the momentum after your date. Whoever told you to wait for five days (or whatever random number of days) before returning a phone call is an idiot. Let him know that you’d like to see him again. He’ll probably say “yes.” If he says “no,” at least you’re spared the tedious ordeal of waiting for a call that’ll never come.
Success saboteur 3: Being on a diet
Don’t wreck a promising first date by refusing his offer of dessert because you’re worried about the calories. If you’ve got a bit of a belly, he probably won’t notice. If you bang on about your bit of a belly, and refuse to eat anything, you’ll kill your chances of getting a second date.
Compromise solution: share dessert with him, and go for a run tomorrow… or indulge in some other form of vigorous exercise later that night.
Success saboteur 4: Curvalicious clothes
Don’t get us wrong. It’s every woman’s right to wear exactly what she wants, including a teeny-weeny bum-hugging pelmet skirt down the pub. Equally, it’s every man’s right to wear ladies’ knickers to the supermarket, but it won’t get him a date.
Barely-there garb will get you noticed (and laid, if you’re not fussy). But a lot of men just don’t want to date women whose clothes leave nothing to the imagination – because there’s nothing left to discover once he gets her alone. That’s why a simple item such as a properly-fitting T-shirt can work wonders. It shows just enough of your shape to make him want to see more of it.
Success saboteur 5: Being one of the boys
Just because he likes doing certain things with his mates (getting drunk, farting, swearing at referees, drawing penises on things), doesn’t mean he wants to do those things with you. First-date farts have killed many a beautiful relationship.
Success saboteur 6: Inflated boobs
Boobs, like faces, are best served without too much pimping. Pumped-up silicone globes reek of insecurity and Big Brother wannabe-ism. There’s a dedicated male market for such boobs, but most men would prefer that his girlfriend’s breasts were home grown.
Go easy with push-up bras, too. They’re pretty easy to spot, and they can have the same effect as the curvalicious clothes we mentioned before. For maximum success, keep it natural and leave something to the imagination.
Success saboteur 7: Fake tan
That thing we said about keeping it natural…?
Success saboteur 8: Shyness
Big boobs and fake tans are at one end of the man-getting cliché spectrum. At the other end is the idea that simpering, mousey, “surrendered women” are the feminine ideal.
It’s all rubbish, of course. Confidence (not arrogance) is the one quality that scores more points than any other in the dating game. If you sit around moaning that you’re no good and no-one will ever love you, you’ll probably be proved correct. That’s because no-one wants a moaning, self-pitying girlfriend.
If you struggle to shake off your shyness, start by faking it. Play the role of a confident person, happy in her own skin. Meet people’s eyes when they talk. Lift your chin, relax your shoulders and smile. You’ll find that men – all people, in fact – respond to you better, and that will boost your true confidence.
Success saboteur 9: Being an anti-career girl
All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl, right? Yes but only to an extent. All play and no work doesn’t do much for her, either. Your job is an important part of your identity, and men respect women who have passions and ambitions. If you love your job and you’re full of hopes and dreams, don’t feel pressured into playing it down for a man who doesn’t understand your passion. Ditch the man, not the dreams.
Success saboteur 10: Letting him do all the talking
As you’ve no doubt read 100 times before, men don’t want to date women who can’t stop talking. We think we’re being friendly, but they think we can’t keep our traps shut. So far, so stereotypical.
However, it would be a mistake to shut up and let a guy do all the talking. He might as well stay at home and talk to the cat or the toilet cistern. It’s lazy to let him drive the conversation, and it suggests that you’ve got nothing interesting to say for yourself. Also, your silence makes him feel that you’re not interested in him. Ask him some questions, and respond to the stuff he’s saying. If that makes you “too talkative,” then he deserves the cistern for company.
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