ThrombosisA Dennistoun bar in Glasgow, The Iron Dike (Rusty Duck), has a barman nicknamed Thrombosis.
The reason being that he was a "slow-moving clot".
Dreamy Smoothy
A customer in Costco at Springburn, Glasgow asked at the restaurant for a smoothie for his daughter.
The woman behind the counter said she would try, but couldn't guarantee the result as the smoothie machine had "been a bit sentimental that morning".
Daydreaming about all the great smoothies of the past, no doubt.
Seafaring Wisdom
I was spending the holiday weekend at a west coast marina and asked an old yachting hand in the marina bar what was a good way of dealing with seasickness.
"Stand under a tree," was the mariner's suggestion.
Country Dancers
A friend's daughter in Carluke returned home from school and announced they had been learning the "flashing white sergeant".
Its a problem or a benefit, caused by cheap kilts and going 'Commando!'
Health Education
A father and his daughter both watched as a chap weaved around erratically in the car in front of them, and his daughter asked what was wrong with the chap.
Dad replied: "I think he's just drunk, a bit too much beer."
His daughter told him: "Stacey's daddy likes beer."
So dad tries to explain: "Yes, but if you drink too much of it, you can fall over."
"Should we tell Stacey's dad?" his daughter asked.
"Oh, I think he probably knows," replied dad.
Road to perditionA YOUNG woman was telling her pals in Starbucks: "I dreamed last night of a metal circle with the number 30 on it."
She then added: "I think it's maybe a sign."
Life's way of telling you to slow down!
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